Forgiving

Every great teacher -in fact every teacher I know- advises to forgive. At first I had a lot of resistance to this concept. I would never, ever forgive certain things or behaviors, not in a million years. I would rather in my mind see certain people roasting on a slow fire than forgive them! There was no way I would do it.

When I begun to do Louise Hay’s Self-Love work, I also became aware of the baggage I was carrying around in my mind (and also in my body as unforgiving affects our bodies, too). As much as I wanted to punish these things and people, the only one I was punishing was myself. As long as I was holding on to these grudges, I was binding myself more tightly to these things and people, that in reality I wanted to get away from. As long as I couldn’t forgive, I wasn’t in fact free. Thousand invisible ropes tied me to the past preventing me to move forward. And the funny thing was, they only tied me, not the person or the thing I couldn’t forgive. Not at all.

At first I struggled a lot in the process of forgiving. It felt like I was accepting an unacceptable behavior. How could I forgive without the acceptance? Finally I started just saying to the Universe as Louise Hay advises: “I am willing to forgive this. I am ready forgive this. Please show me a way.” At the beginning I felt like nothing was happening, but little by little I noticed, that the meaning of these things and people begun to diminish in my mind until finally I felt, that I had forgiven them wholly. I was free.

Then I became aware, that it is not just other people and outside things we need to forgive. There were a lot of things I had done or not done, that seemed to be unforgivable. At least in my own mind. There was a lot of blame and guilt going around. I begun to release myself from these burdens also one by one, using the same method, that I had used with others and little by little I begun to feel myself lighter and freer from the past weights.

Every now and then I was still encountering the advice to forgive. And I was wondering why. I didn’t have anything more to forgive, or did I? Had I really forgiven everything I needed to? Very recently I became aware of the resentments I was still holding on to. These were not something major, but more in the lines of dislikes towards people and things. Resentments and dislikes are just the same kinds of judgements as unforgiving, that we have passed on. These were still things I needed to forgive.

The more I forgive, the freer I feel, the lighter I feel, more loving I feel. I feel like I am finally releasing myself from the prison I have put myself into. I have understood, that forgiveness has nothing to do with the person or the thing I need to forgive, but it has everything to do with just ME. It gives ME freedom from the past. It sets ME free of the bonds that are holding me back. It allows ME to live a fuller, larger life. It allows ME to love life more completely.

Forgiveness truly is the key to a more fulfilling, peaceful life and lasting happiness.

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