Last time

There’s a time and place for everything. Things begin, run their course and then end. There is therefore a last time for everything.

Life is made of changes. Often we treat things and people in our lives as a constant, we take them for granted. We don’t want to see the end. But sometimes that ending is not in our hands.

Things end. Children grow up, marriages end, health fail, pets die. Suddenly the little things we took for granted are no more. All we are left are memories and regrets. Regrets about not enjoying those little thing while we had the chance.

Enjoy all your life while it lasts. Every day and every moment. Enjoy especially those little moments, because Life will change and one day they will be just a memory. Don’t let them slip by your fingers. Be present and relish them.

This will be my last blog. I wish you have enjoyed this ride together. Hopefully you have also gotten something out of it: perhaps a new thought, an altered insight, or a different perspective.

My last wish for you is, that you enjoy all the things life has to offer you, especially the little ones, because they make up your life, and one day there may come time you will miss them. Enjoy them fully while you have them, and remember them fondly, when they are gone.

Here’s to your journey! Bon voyage!

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Thank You

How often do you express gratitude for the little things? The dishes, the laundry, the plumbing? Or the people in your life? So often we just take them for granted, and even moan about them.

Not that long ago all water had to be carried in from outside, miles away even, and sewage had to be carried out. And to get hot water one had to heat it on the stove. Now we take for granted all these modern conveniences, that are available to us.

We take for granted our spouse, children, even friends. Instead of giving them compliments and showing, how much they really mean to us, we treat them as their were just a nuisance in our lives, and nag, and even yell at them.

Gratitude is the basis of all contentment and happiness in life. There simply cannot be true happiness without gratitude. Yet we rarely feel grateful for the lives we lead: the conveniences, that make our lives easier, and the people, who make our lives worth while.

Gratitude transforms what we have into enough and more. Life without gratitude will not give us satisfaction. Life without gratitude will only make us displeased with everything, even the things, that go in our favor, our little victories.

Often we notice, what we have, only when we lose it. We only notice our health, when we don’t have it anymore; we only notice the time with our children, when they have grown up and moved away. There are million little things in live, we don’t notice until it is too late.

It is the little things, that make our lives. The ones we take for granted and don’t notice until they are lost forever. They are the ones we should be grateful to have. They are the ones we should enjoy fully every day.

For awhile set aside all that you are still missing and take a moment to notice all those little things you have at the moment: the clothes, the air, even the body you have. Feel grateful for that you have woken up to this brand new day with all these little things. And say Thank You for them all.

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Happiness

Happiness is an inside job. Our happiness doesn’t depend on anybody else, but our own focus. It is said, that we are as happy or unhappy as we decide to be. And so it is.

There are circumstances in this world, that are similar to a bunch of people, yet some of them are happy and some are miserable. Therefore the circumstances themselves cannot be the source of that happiness, or unhappiness. What is it then? Their attitude, their inward disposition, their focus in life.

I have seen miserable people, who are doing fine in their lives. They have clothes, fairly good jobs, food on their plates, roof over their heads, solid families and yet they are unhappy. I have also seen content and happy people, who are worst struck by life. They have been fired from their jobs, been in car crashes, or given the worst diagnoses ever. Yet they are happy about their lives. The difference between these people is their focus: the first ones focus on what they don’t have and the second on what they do. Focusing on what we have, creates happiness.

Sometimes we are just too far from happiness to even try to achieve it. When I was clinically depressed, there was no way I could be happy about anything. But luckily I somehow understood, that I didn’t have to. All I needed to do was to feel a tiny bit better each day. For me that meant to find out every day and write down at least one thing, that didn’t make me feel bad that day. That could have been just a ray of sun, a squirrel crossing the road, or a rosebush blooming by the sidewalk. They didn’t bring me joy or happiness, but neither did they make me feel worse. The day I listed three such incidents, was the day I knew, I was heading the right direction.

The main point is, we can decide to be happy or at least not to be unhappy anymore. When we decide that, we will find a way. One tiny step at a time. Anyway the most important thing is to decide. If you are physically sick, you are going to do something about it. Feel the same way about your happiness. If you are unhappy, decide to change the situation. Decide it now. Today. Don’t wait a second longer. You are worth it.

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Home

Home is a place, where our heart is. It is a place, where we can be ourselves, where we feel comfortable and loved just as we are. Home is a safe haven in the ever changing world. The one place, that ever remains the same. Or so we think.

Life is made of changes. Every little thing in this life is in constant change. Weather changes, seasons come and go. Even our bodies change all the time. Cells reproduce and old ones die. And we change our minds almost as often as our clothes, believing today this and tomorrow something else completely. There is no stopping the change, it is life itself.

Everything and anything can change in an instant. First we have it and the next moment we don’t. Life doesn’t ask for our permission for change to happen. Our children grow up and move away. Friends move and scatter across the world. Pets get old and die. Even our furniture gets old and grubby.

However our true home is not in any physical place. Instead we are souls having a physical experience, souls with a body. We came eagerly to this ever changing life. Not to have one place, that would never change, but knowing, that change was inevitable and we embraced it. We knew it would give us clarity on what we personally preferred. We came for the fun of it.

Our time here on Earth is limited. None of us know, when will be our last day. So if you woke up this morning, make the whole wide world feel like home and enjoy this very day, that you right now have, to its fullest!

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Manic Manifesting

When we first hear about the Law of Attraction, I think we are all enticed by the prospect of getting and having whatever we should want to. “Cool! Now I’m finally gonna win that Lottery!”

I see a lot of people stay hooked on manifesting. They obsessively keep trying to manifest all sorts of things. However Law of Attraction doesn’t respond to our words, or actions. Law of Attraction only responds to our vibration, to whatever we emit from ourselves. And we are only able to vibrate or emit, what we believe is possible in this life.

By trying to manically manifest things into our lives, we will do ourselves more harm than good. So just stop and ask yourself, why on Earth do I want, whatever it is, that I want. Am I trying to impress others, show them how far I have gone, or do I perhaps just want the feeling of security, freedom, or joyfulness? In the end it is always the feeling we are after, not the stuff itself. That is extra.

First of all our beliefs limit profoundly, how we are able to vibrate. We cannot be or have anything, we think is impossible for us, or in general. Our beliefs are a big stumbling block, and we don’t even notice them at times. EFT or Tapping is an easy way to show us our limiting beliefs and gently remove them. (see my post on 22nd June, 2016 on EFT in http://www.merjasuomela.wordpress.com/2016/06 (second one when scrolling down))

Secondly everything in this Universe is two things: the wanted and the lack of it. It is possible, that we focus on the things we want the wrong way around. If we are more focused on the lack, Law of Attraction will match us up with more lack. To find out which side we are more focused on, we have to pay close attention to how we feel, when we think, visualize and talk about the things we want. Lack makes us always feel bad, or constricted, as allowing on the other hand makes us feel good, eager, happy, or joyful even.

Thirdly we can limit Law of Attraction all by ourselves. By thinking and visualizing, that the only way, we can have for example extra money, is the lottery, we are in fact limiting our options of getting it. We are shutting countless doors, by which our extra money could come to us.

In the end, if we feel that particular feeling we are after, does it really matter, how it came? If it came that specific way we ourselves wanted it to come, or some other possible way?

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Negative Feelings

Life consists of ordinary days: some of which are good and some of which are not. There will be things, that will make us happy and over the moon. Then there will be others we could simply do without. We don’t get to choose, which ones we are going to have, we only get to choose, how to react to them. There is ebb and flow in life and also in our days.

We are not always at our best. We are also allowed to be vulnerable, powerless, at loss, or even sad and unhappy at times. There is no shame in that. That is called full human life. There is no shame even in crying, when we feel like it. Because how would we know, when we are happy, if we never were unhappy.

Bottling up these bad feelings and pretending to be happy, when we are not, makes our whole body suffer the consequences. Our bodies never lie to us. They show us exactly, how we feel minute to minute. These bottled up feelings tend to cause resistance, that shows itself as tension and stress in our bodies, and in the end even as aches and pains and disease.

It is much more proactive to admit to ourselves, what our true feelings are. Then try to find a way to release them: cry, if you feel like it, shout in the shower, beat your pillow, or go for a walk or a run. Nature has many healing qualities, so a walk/run in the forest can solve and calm many of our feelings.

When things happen, that are not to your liking, remember, that you are not a bad person, if you have negative feelings about them. Just admit your feelings, find a proactive way to release them, and move on.

There is plenty of good in everything and in every day. So if you can’t find the silver lining in what you are living at the moment, concentrate on the good things, that you can find, that are in your life. Enjoy, whatever you can.

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Plant a Tree

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. I really like this quote by Martin Luther. It seems to sum up everything, that I believe. That happiness is found in enjoying the moment. Even if I knew I was not here tomorrow, I would still do today something I believed in and liked.

Our attitude has everything to do, how we experience life. We can see life as a hard journey from one misery to another, or we can concentrate on the positive side of things. Everything, and I mean everything, has a positive side. Even the most terrible things, that could ever happen to us, have something positive in them, if we just choose to notice it.

The most terrible things tend to let us see, how good our lives have been before. And how little we valued those good times. They tend to give a halo of extraordinary to little every day things. We don’t so very often see these things as blessings. For example do you appreciate doing the dishes? Laundry? Vacuuming? We don’t let these things make us happy. Only when these things are taken away from us, we begin to appreciate them in a very different way.

We also tend to postpone our happiness until some condition is fulfilled. I will be happy, when I lose weight, or when I get enough money, or when something else happens. When we postpone happiness, we are in fact saying, that this very moment, Right Now, is not enough. That this very moment is somehow flawed. This precise moment is all we have. This, Right Now, is when Life happens. Your life and mine. It is perfect as it is.

We cannot decide over or control everything, that happens in this life. Things will happen to us, that we don’t like about or wouldn’t want to happen. We can only decide, how we react to them. We can only enjoy this very moment we have right now and be happy about it. No-one knows about the future. There are no guarantees of the next moment. This very moment is all there ever is. So if everything is good Right Now Right Here, enjoy it fully. And if not, make sure you make most of this very moment. It is all, that you have.

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Life is Happening Right Now

When was the last time you appreciated the bowl your meal was served in? The roundness and generosity of it. The practicality and weight of it. The form, color and material. Being in the present moment is easier said than done. Our minds just won’t stand still, take in the moment and appreciate the minute details of it.

This moment right now, right here is actually the only moment we truly have in our lives. Our minds often make it seem the otherwise though. We go on planning tomorrow, or lunch break, or even just the next conversation, that we’re going to have. And planning the future, that might or might not come, is not the only thing we do. Instead of leaving the old stuff to yesterday, where it belongs, we often mull over it. We go on the same old stuff over and over again in our minds, like a broken record.

Living in the present moment is a hard thing to do in this fast time and space, that we are living. But it is the only time we actually get to have. I have lately done a lot of grounding work to be in the moment. Every time I catch myself thinking ahead, I bring myself back to this moment. I love, how Nancy Levin put it. That whatever she was doing was the most important thing. Nothing else needed to be done at that precise moment.

That is how I have been reminding myself too. I am writing now. I am walking now. Now I do the dishes. Reminding myself, that whatever I am doing, it is worth to be here and now, and enjoyed. Ordinary things and events have begun to feel like one of kind type of things. And come to think of it, though it seems we are doing the same kinds of stuff over and over again, they are different each time. The laundry isn’t exactly the same, the dishes, the walks, the conversations. They are all different every time.

So from my own experience I can recommend to find the moment at hand. To enjoy and wonder the minute details of it, that are never the same. That way our moments will gain more dignity and appreciation. And life will never be the same again.

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Everything is a Mirror

Everything and everyone in this universe mirrors our beliefs back to us. Whatever we believe, we will find in this world. So if we believe, that all youths are lazy, they will rise up to meet that expectation. On the other hand if we believe, that we will meet only kind and friendly people wherever we go, that too will be our experience.

Many teachers have recently  written about this phenomenon. It is like all the people are shards of a mirror, mirroring back whatever we show them. This goes to ourselves, too. Haven’t we all one time or another wondered, why on Earth did we behave the way we did? When we don’t pay close attention on to how we ourselves want to feel, we will more easily just be reflecting something back.

I have noticed, that when I, myself, am annoyed and irritated, other people seem to be like that too. On the other hand if I’m happy and easy, I meet people, who are similar. When I hold certain expectations to certain people, they will rise to occasion and meet those expectations, be they good or bad ones. Sometimes people just mirror back to us, what we need to know about ourselves.

So that annoying relative is just mirroring back to you the annoyance you feel towards one of your own habits (usually the one, that annoys you so much). (Sometimes you just expect them to be annoying and they are fulfilling that request every time so perfectly.) But also that wonderful customer service person is just mirroring back to you your own kindness and expertise. When we start to notice this thing for what it is, it is easy to turn it around.

By acknowledging without judging the habits in ourselves we dislike, we make it possible to release them, to change them. But first we just have to notice them. When we expect our relatives to be less annoying they surprise us pleasantly. And whenever you see someone acting exceptionally well, give them the credit by all means, but take also some yourself. You wouldn’t witness that behavior, if it wasn’t part of you also!

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About Complaining

For sometime ago I listened to a couple of women, who seemed to be saying only positive things, but were in fact complaining about everything. I have noticed, that much of the interaction in our society seems to be based on complaining. The more we complain, the more eager ears we have. I have often wondered, why it so easy to concentrate on things, that don’t work the way we want them to, instead of those, that do.

Complaining is just comparing in other clothes. When we complain, we are in fact just comparing something to the image we hold in our minds of how we think it should be. Things are as they are, and by complaining about them we are just holding ourselves on the negative side of life.

Complaining will keep our focus on things, that don’t work the way we would want them to. And what we focus on, we will have more of. Complaining will eventually diminish all the good  things in our lives by making them feel smaller and less. Complaining will make us ungrateful.

I myself don’t see any point in wallowing in all the negative things, that may or may not happen on this Earth. Concentrating solely on the bad stuff, that happened or might have happened somewhere else on the planet, and that has no bearing or connection whatsoever on me, will not make me feel good. It will not make me feel secure. And my first priority to myself is to feel good and secure.

I believe, it would be wise to more often think about, what is our motivation, when we share something.  Are we just doing the popular thing and participating in something we don’t ourselves believe in, and that makes us feel bad, or are we sharing the words of kindness and encouragement to each other? At least I will in the future focus even more determinately on what I will say.

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